This morning, people were clumping together and blocking me from getting
to the wide open roadway just beyond them, you know, with that rolling
blockade thing they do in those interstate delta formations… And being
highly annoyed with the behavior, I exclaimed, “Out of my way, you butt
monkeys!” and immediately felt very proud of myself for having such a
phrase roll off my tongue like that right when I needed it.
Later on during the same commute, some bonehead changed lanes right in
front of me. Well, that’s too kind, really. He wasn’t QUITE in front of
me and if I hadn’t started swerving and slowing down as soon as he
started moving toward me it would have been ugly. So as soon as I
finished swerving and had a hand available I of course hit the horn
(which made its usual puny little “eeep”), flipped the guy off, and
called him an ass hat.
All in all a very good day in traffic epithet-hurling.
Kind of makes you proud to be an American, doesn’t it?