If I could have my dream life, how would it be different from the life I have now?
I feel sometimes that my life isn’t really going anywhere or I’m not doing well or I wonder if my husband will ever be less annoying, but if I could dream up some perfect life, what would that consist of?
I would still want to work, maybe even at the same place. My job, at times, is damn near ideal for me. But not always. It can be a grind, and it can be hectic and creates stress which contributes to what sometimes seems overall quite a thankless life.
Speaking of thankless, there are many times my husband seems to assign considerably more value to his time (even though he doesn’t have a full-time gig right now) than to my time (even though I work the productive American’s “40 or more” a week and commute much further than he did even when he was working full-time at the office.
Sometimes he is an arrogant prick, in fact, but really would I want the sort of husband that wasn’t strong-willed and confident? Maybe, maybe not. A good thing is a good thing but too much of a good thing is what lines therapists’ pockets.
Really my life isn’t bad. Quite often I feel trapped but if it turns out where you’re trapped isn’t all that bad, then… that’s good. Some people might even call that security. I wish I had more choices, but then again when you boil it down am I not simply living with the results of my own choices?
Still I wonder a lot, is this as good as it’s going to get? And someday will I look back and now and think, “man that was awesome, comparatively life just sucks since then”?